That's just the thing, you don't cope.
It's very selfish of someone to do that, but rarely does our human nature allow us to think entirely altruistically. Most people, when it comes down to it, are looking out for themsevles first and others second, even if they don't realize it.
In the end, you can either work it out and move on, or you can end the relationship. In my experience, no one can fully love two people at the same time; one person is always going to get the short end of the stick.How to you cope with the fact that your husband may be in love with someone from his past?
Next time get to know a guy before you marry him.
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I don't think they could cope having been told, cause then it could play in their mind everytime their with hubby. I think the husbands tried to move on from the ex but in the end couldn't. So came clean because they could no longer lie to themselves or most importantly their partners. I would be devastated to receive news like that. I would talk with hubby and see where i stand in this relationship. But for him to still be in love with his ex, i would leave because his heart is elsewhere. No one should be with anyone if they don't love that person the whole relationship would be based on a lie.
How can people treat others like that?
They are selfish; they are self-absorbed; they are narcissistic. They simply DON'T CARE how their actions affect those around them, even the ones they claim to ';Love';. Self gratification is their only purpose.
Often these kinds of people, knowing how our society frowns on illicit affairs, marry someone they may actually think they ';love';, or at the very least are comfortable with, for cover, for convenience, for companionship... and continue in their activities. They produce children for acceptance from their spouse / parents / colleagues / society to be admired, and do other spouse-type things in order to minimally fulfill their perceived ';duty'; as a wife or a husband.
In reality, they are simply hollow shells of people - they are going through the motions, following (but not adhering to...) societal expectations while still pursuing whatever floats their boats, rocks their worlds, or gives them a thrill - primary relationship be damned.
Look, tell your friend to leave now. If she keeps going about her life like nothing is happening, it will be harder to deal with when he actually leaves her. Tell her to leave him and move on. Tell your friend, that it's pointless to waste your love on someone who won't love you back. Life is too short to waste your love on someone who is in love with someone else.
Some people are jerks, they only want what is best for themselves and don't care who they hurt in the process of getting what they want.
It's honesty! Everyone has a first love - and everyone has a right to still love that person. There is nothing wrong with that - it doesn't mean you don't love the person or are in love with the person you ended up with.
I'm still in love with my ex and I'm with someone else - he knows I care for him and he is still in love with his ex - but im and I found each other and we are happy with each other - it takes a lot to love someone - and a even more to let them go - you dont just dont being in love with someone.
You have to accept it. At least they are being honest and telling them.
Sounds to me like that really bites. There is a suggestion I have that will help get him back and or fix this issue, it's called the 180 list. Someone gave it to me and WOW! Completely transformed his emotionally abusive behaviors into begging me for attention. It works for affairs and all... 180 list! Below is the link
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_b鈥?/a>
My bet is that really they are in love with the IDEA of loving the old flame. Not so much the actual old flame. They think ';OH, it was so much better when...'; well everybody changes and moves on... You may be able to translate that to your pals for some small solace??? Good luck.
Cuz it's better than living like hermits.
The world is not a perfect fairytale. As you get older, that is supposed to become more and more apparant to you.
that means he didn't mean the vows he said to you at the altar
Tell him Goodbye and that he is a good for nothing piece of crap.
Katie is right saying their selfish , but Art is right saying they don't want to live like hermits. So actually they just decided to settle for second best and learn to live with it.
I cant blame them though. God forbid I ever divorced, I would still always love my husband and i doubt I would be able to love anyone else more than him. Maybe because he was my first everything but either way I would always love him.
It would take a selfish person to even say something like that. If I found out my husband/partner was in love with someone else I'd leave. I wouldn't want to waste my time on someone who didn't feel the same way about me.
if they were willing to tell their partner something like that after getting married then there really isn't much sense to stay with that person. Tell ur friend to get a divorce
Sounds to me like the husbands are too busy looking back instead of at whats before them.
packing my bags and clearing the bank acct will help me cope just fine.
Situations like this are not uncommon unfortunately there are quite a few people out there in relationships for the wrong reasons. Those who are in love with someone and still proceed to enter into a relationship with another do so for a variety of reasons, here are some:
1.) The person they love doesn't love them.
2.) The relationship they were in with their loved one didn't work out due to incompatibility on a variety of levels.
3,) They could not commit to this person.
Putting that aside why would a person enter into a relationship with another. marry, have children, etc... and then decide that they need to profess their love for someone in their past. My answer would be that they are self centered cowards hiding behind this so called love from the past. think about it...why would someone feel the need to suddenly profess love for another, why didn't this come up earlier? It's BS They want out of the marriage (or relationship) and they don't have the nuts to come right out and say I don't love you anymore or I never loved you or I'm unhappy. Instead they prefer to take the cowardly route and act like they are being held hostage by the spell of love. I don't buy it not one bit.
If I truly was still in love with a past lover and I was dating or seeing a new person I would have the respect for this person to tell them my true feelings before we got serious or even considered marriage or children.. To hide it and then spring it upon someone shows a blatant disrespect for the one they are hurting and exposes a self-centered liar who can't be honest.
If I married and still loved another I would take it to my grave and accept the choice that I made. If I had a husband and kids I would not ruin my family life over something in the past that most likey has no value in my current or future life. This is what someone with dignity and respect for themselves and their family would do.
bottom line...this person cannot be trusted and wants out. They are playing games and have no respect for you. Get out and don't look back.
it's no easy way to cope. for a man to do that shows that he is low and petty and that he never really loved you men are known to do selfish things like that because they seem to be confused and rapped up in the moment of lust but i tell you one thing they always regret it and end up wanting to come back to the happy home he just crushed and that's when you have to make them suffer, i recall a great saying that is so true 'NEVER LEAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE FOR THE ONE YOU LIKE BECAUSE THE ONE YOU LIKE WILL LEAVE YOU FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE'; honestly they never really be in love with the ex they just want a chance to have them again for a little bit of time then throw them to the side and come back to the wives i dont think it's easy to cope and there is no way actually of coping best thing to do is leave them and walk away it may hurt but you got to do what you got to do and exhale. good luck sweetie.
some people tried to move on by having a new relationship though they weren't even ready for a serious one. i think it is one way of dealing with pain for some people but it is evidently causing a pain for another person. for me it is an immature and irresponsible act of moving on. if you aren't ready for any relationship yet just don't date another person and make them believe that you like them, just be brave enough to accept the fact that you aren't ready yet for a new start, and just wait for the right time,all pain will be heal in time, it cant be force.
if you were the new person and get hurt, youre the victim, just be brave,be strong and dont give up, if you need to let them go then do it, you dont deserve a person who look at you as a rebound. its not fair. you deserve to be love by someone who is capable of loving.
answer my question.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
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