Is it worth trying to fix things with my husband after he cheated, and filed for divorce?

He also was with some one else a week after he filed for it, and now he wants to get back together.Is it worth trying to fix things with my husband after he cheated, and filed for divorce?
i wouldn't take him back if he filed for divorce on me and was with another woman. he just wants to come back because all apparently wasn't so good with this other woman. and now he finds himself dumped and alone and thinks he can just come back to u. its not worth it really its not. if he did this to u now he will do it again the very next time some other woman catches his eye. a man has to be pretty sure he doesn't want u if he files for divorce and moves in with someone new before u even get the divorce.he was probably seeing this woman way before u knew about it, right under your nose. so now that he got the boot he wants u back, i think not.Is it worth trying to fix things with my husband after he cheated, and filed for divorce?
Wow he has nerve to say that all should be forgiven and forgotten. I ask the question of if two people are close in the beginning and one does this how can there be reconciliation where you erase the wrong doing of this magnitude? How can the trust be reconsidered to be placed back in both of your lives? See for some it's too easy to say sorry and please take me back. He filed for divorce too. I find all this too hard to believe him and swallow all this bull sh**. I think you have to figure if it's worth going back. Can you see through those eyes any thing worth saving? I back off of judgment and use the thumbs down on the idea. You can take your chances on the lies and deceit..........
How many years do you have invested in this relationship? And were you happy with him before you found out he cheated?





I was married to my husband for 11 years when I found out about his affair. Besides the fact that I still loved him, I stayed to try and work it out because we had so many years of marriage invested that I didn't want to throw that away without at least trying to make it work. We have now been married 14 years and are very happy together.





You have to do what you think is right for you, but I would say that if you still love him and wish things could work out, you should at least give it a shot. In the end, if yall still get divorced, at least you will know you tried.
If you can see in his eyes, his body and his soul that he is truly apologetic, you might give it another shot. But, this sounds like he is trying to say the minimum possible to keep you hooked and available, and you should not go there. Probably, he is just manipulating the situation so he can keep all his options open.
Eh....no. Obviously he has commitment issues. He cheated once, filed then cheated again, now he wants back together? What has changed? Why does he want to fix the marriage?


I would pause the divorce, and see what has changed, if anything. It would take a long time and a lot of effort for me to forgive and trust a habitual cheater, but it may be possible. He should show you he's changed and prove you can trust him before ANYTHING happens.
Cheating is something that is very difficult to get over. Men and women cheat for different reasons. I used to go by the phrase, ';Once a cheater, always a cheater';, but after going through something similar to your situation, I need to step back a rethink my philosophy. There are some things to keep in mind before deciding whether or not to proceed. First, do you really want your marriage to work. If you have a hesitation, it might not be the best time to attempt to work it out. Second, you would have to set some basic guidelines for his behavior, and yours. I would find a good marriage counselor before you make full amends and go through the ( usually painful) process of working through your problems. He needs to be serious committed to a change in your relationship. We all make mistakes, some more painful than others. Your husband may have realized the error of his ways, and truly wants to make amends, but it is a long, hard process and you both must be prepared to deal with tough, painful issues. The wounds often feel worse before they get better. I wish you all the luck.
Do you honestly want to get back together w/someone who has not only cheated on you, but already filed for a divorce?! He is going to do nothing but heep hurting you time %26amp; time again. He has shown you nothing but disrespect %26amp; has degraded you %26amp; your marriage. I would highly suggest you just cannot %26amp; do NOT want to get hurt time %26amp; time again from him. Accept the fact it's over plain %26amp; simple. You are going to put this cheater in the past %26amp; leave him rite there. You now have a chance of starting a whole new beginning..Just please do not let him hurt you again, because that's all he's going to do %26amp; you certainly DO deserve far better than this. I would tell him absolutely no, you do want the divorce %26amp; a chance of total happiness. I'm a firm believer in things do happen for reasons. You just were NOT meant to be w/him. Keep in mind, when one door closes, another one opens %26amp; it w/just do this for you. Give yourself a chance %26amp; you WILL find happiness w/someone who w/give you the love %26amp; respect you so deserve, Never settle for less, as that's just what you are going to get. Go forward %26amp; you w/NOT regret it...Best to you...:)
What a frikken idiot. He actually thinks that is ok to do to you? WTF kind of a person is that guy? I hope you throw him out on his a ss with not even a suitcase. The nerve of that dude. What planet is the jerk from anyway? I can't believe that you would even ask that question because it shows that you may be considering trying to fix things with him.
My grandmother always told me that once a persons cheats they will do it again. My experience has been that statement is true.





I am left scratching my head why you would even ask should you? He cheated once before filing then again after he filed. How can you be sure there were not more than those two? I would hate to say that a therapist could work. I think your hubby wants his cake and wants to eat it too. If he cares so little of what his cheating does to you, you shouldn't care what this divorce does to him. What is his sudden about face for wanting to make it work? Is he just being selfish? I hate to sound mean but that is just how I see it.
Have you even thought that maybe he wanted to get back together because the girl he was with booted him out? I wouldn't trust him if I was you. He would probably do the same thing again. You don't want to keep getting your heart broken do you? Anyway you should make him suffer a little bit for what he did to you. I'd let him go ahead with the divorce and you go on your way and find someone that won't be cheating on you. You deserve better sweetie. Don't fall for it!
He realized the grass wasn't greener or she realized she didn't like him that much and dumped him.


It's so individual for the couple. He really really hurt and disrespected you. It depends on how much you love him, how sorry he is, how much self esteem you have and how able you are to forgive. Do you think he could ever do this to you again..if you think ';yes'; then I wouldn't give it another thought. It sounds like you still love him. He needs to be truly, completely and repentantly sorry. He needs to talk to you in front of a pastor, priest or rabbi. He broke the marriage vows and threw you under the bus.


I don't think I could. But like I said each couple is different and so is your history. I wish you the best, but he needs to suffer before you just let him come back home.
Actions speak louder then words. He cheated and then filed for divorce, now he wants you back, does he want you back because the other women decided she didn't want him. What happens when you take him back, he cheats again and files for divorce, or may be he has no where to go. A man that loves you won't cheat nor file for divorce.
My answer would be definitely no. Once a cheater always a cheater. I had a spouse like that once. I couldn't forget about the affair and was always wondering when he was out of the house if he was doing it again. Even though there was great sex he still cheated. I don't think that it is worth the emotional stress that you would deal with. Good luck with your decision.
i wouldn't take him back,he ruined your life as a couple and made you unhappy. i would kick his cheating,lying butt to the curb and find a guy who will treat you with respect.


you would also always wonder if he would do it again if you took him back,which statistically would probably happen,once a cheater always a cheater.


i would have nothing more to do with him and move on.
Only you can answer that...can you really get over his infidelity? He sounds like a rogue and a man who needs counseling. If there are children involved and you REALLY want it to work...then go to a marriage counselor. I hate to sound pessimistic....but that behaviour never changes, unless the source of his insecurities are addressed.
This has happened to me too, but I was the cheater this time. I'm 30 years old now and this occured at 22. I was young and stupid, I know.. We stayed married and worked it out and I love him so much for giving me this chance.





It depends on how strong your marriage is, but if he's still with some or was; a week after he filed and still wants you back. It sounds like your he's 2nd choice when the other person doesn't work out.
If he has already filed for divorce, then sorry hun, but do you really actually have a choice in the matter?





It looks like he's already made up his mind, even if he is umming and aahing at the moment.





Not really sure what you think you can salvage from this mess.
If in your heart it's something you need to do, then try. However, he had his fun, at your expense. And also took the time to file for divorce. I'd let him have his divorce. Have yourself checked for any 'gifts' he may have brought home to you. And be sure that you speak with an attny to ensure that receive e/thing you're entitled to.
Are you willing to go through this again? I'm sure he is promising to you that nothing like this will ever happen again. It happened once no I guess in your case twice so what is keeping it from happening again. I wasted 16 more years with my husband who promised it would never happen again. Wish I had stayed strong and left him the first time around. It was much harder for me the second time.


Red
Really depends on why he cheated. ....Affairs Linger....and he will just do it again....especially if he thinks you are totally desperate of being alone and you are afraid.


However, if you are a hot little career minded person with financial means, you can probably do much better for yourself.....trade this guy in for a better model...
I think it depends on you...Everyone will tell you to let him go, he's no good. The questions should be to you will you be happy, living with a person who has betrayed you? Can you learn to forgive him completely, if not you won't be happy. Best of Luck to you!
You can answer this yourself. You deserve way better than this. He sounds like a selfish narcissistic jerk. How many times do you want to let him hurt you and rip your heart out? Aren't you ready to start your new life and find some wonderful man to share your life with yet?
If it was me, I would not take him back. Not for the filing of divorce, but the cheating part. I would not be able to get past that.





It's up to you, only you know your husband. Is he worth it?
If he isn't genuinely sorry for the pain he caused you and isn't going out of his way to make sure you feel okay with the what has happened, then I would say no don't go back with him. He'll do it again to you.
no let him go this is sorta the back that broke up and now trying to come back cause someone is bored. that is no excuse. you can do better.
You really are asking this? I'm sorry, but did you clean the dirt off your back from the last time he walked all over you? Screw him. This is the only way he will learn to respect you. Do not look back.
I wouldn't be able to take him back. He'll do it again. He probably found out that since he was the cheater you'll be entitled to more in the divorce when it happens.
If you BOTH think it's worth the effort, it is. If you both want to try, get yourselves a good marriage counselor.
It's only worth it if you feel right about it. If you still have the same feelings for him and he can show you that he does for you as well....good luck
no he tried to toss you one time what makes you think he won't do it again.why not give yourself a break and start a new life with someone that is worth it
If it was me, I would not do it. But if you really want to give it a try, see if he is willing to go for counseling.